April Newsletter
We define horror in trauma as experiences in which we witness something deeply disturbing that signals to the nervous system that the world is not safe. What I think is happening to a lot of us right now is that we're getting chronic, low-dose exposure to exactly this kind of material — with no context, no interruption, and no discharge. The accumulation doesn't disappear. It settles. And there is a meaningful difference between a nervous system frozen in accumulated horror and one that is moving, even slowly, toward completion.
The Art of Sucking at Things. Learning to Have Compassion No Matter What.
Recently, a podcast guest said something that stuck with me: "Sucking really sucks. But what's the alternative? Never trying anything?" This hit home because I've been in a season of aggressive growth, running a marathon, expanding my practice, writing, and teaching, and I wasn't great at all of it. In fact, some of it I was objectively bad at. But here's what research shows: the most successful people don't fail less; they just try more. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant found that prolific innovators simply produce more work, which means more failures in absolute terms. The difference? They're comfortable being wrong, getting feedback, and trying again. Whether you're learning to set boundaries, run a business, or master a new skill, you have to be willing to suck at it first. Because the alternative, staying exactly where you are, is its own kind of failure.